Middle management blues: Difference between revisions
Amwelladmin (talk | contribs) No edit summary |
Amwelladmin (talk | contribs) No edit summary |
||
| Line 3: | Line 3: | ||
Stop all the [[key performance indicator]]s, cut off the skype <br> | Stop all the [[key performance indicator]]s, cut off the skype <br> | ||
Prevent [[internal audit]] complaining with a load of old tripe,<br> | Prevent [[internal audit]] complaining with a load of old tripe,<br> | ||
Silence the [[subject matter expert]]s and with animated [[deck]]<br> | Silence the [[subject matter expert]]s, and with animated [[deck]]<br> | ||
Bring out the [[target operating model]], <br> | Bring out the [[target operating model]], <br> | ||
That [[stakeholder]]s will wreck.<br> | |||
Let [[escalation]]s circle, [[Circle of escalation|rise]] and then dip <br> | Let [[escalation]]s circle, [[Circle of escalation|rise]] and then dip <br> | ||
| Line 12: | Line 12: | ||
Let the [[chief operating officer]] wear [[flannel|flannelene]] kecks.<br> | Let the [[chief operating officer]] wear [[flannel|flannelene]] kecks.<br> | ||
You are my [[steerco]] and [[opco]], my [[ | You are my [[steerco]] and [[opco]], my [[SOX]] audit pass, <br> | ||
My [[CBT]], my [[CPD]] (where I’m [[Best in class|best in the class]])<br> | My [[CBT]], my [[CPD]] (where I’m [[Best in class|best in the class]])<br> | ||
My [[deep dive]], [[disclaimer]], my [[eye-ess-dee-aye]];<br> | My [[deep dive]], [[disclaimer]], my [[eye-ess-dee-aye]];<br> | ||
| Line 18: | Line 18: | ||
It lasted all day.<br> | It lasted all day.<br> | ||
[[Please be advised]] that they’ve outsourced the fun,<br> | [[Please be advised]] that they’ve [[Outsourcing|outsourced]] the fun,<br> | ||
Right-sized the moon — <br> | [[Right-sizing|Right-sized]] the moon — <br> | ||
Disintermediated the sun.<br> | Disintermediated the sun.<br> | ||
They’ve circled their wagons and [[reach around|reached around]] the group;<br> | They’ve [[circle the wagons|circled their wagons]] and [[reach around|reached around]] the group;<br> | ||
For our [[direction of travel]] is a [[Mobius loop]].<br> | For our [[direction of travel]] is a [[Mobius loop]].<br> | ||
{{dramatis personae}} | {{dramatis personae}} | ||
Revision as of 08:44, 7 June 2018
With apologies to W. H. Auden[1].
Stop all the key performance indicators, cut off the skype
Prevent internal audit complaining with a load of old tripe,
Silence the subject matter experts, and with animated deck
Bring out the target operating model,
That stakeholders will wreck.
Let escalations circle, rise and then dip
Scribble on the sky “can you run it by Chip?”
Put service level agreements round the service line’s necks,
Let the chief operating officer wear flannelene kecks.
You are my steerco and opco, my SOX audit pass,
My CBT, my CPD (where I’m best in the class)
My deep dive, disclaimer, my eye-ess-dee-aye;
They said the call would take minutes:
It lasted all day.
Please be advised that they’ve outsourced the fun,
Right-sized the moon —
Disintermediated the sun.
They’ve circled their wagons and reached around the group;
For our direction of travel is a Mobius loop.
Dramatis personae: CEO | CFO | Client | Employees: Divers · Excuse pre-loaders · Survivors · Contractors · The Muppet Show | Middle management: COO · Consultant · MBA | Controllers: Financial reporting | Risk | Credit | Operations | IT | Legal: GC · Inhouse counsel · Docs unit · Litigator · Tax lawyer · US attorney Lawyer | Front office: Trading | Structuring | Sales |