Confidentiality agreement: Difference between revisions

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{{a|confi|
{{a|confi|
[[File:Secret.jpg|450px|thumb|center|Do you promise not to tell, and if you do, do you acknowledge damages may not be an adequate remedy?]]
[[File:Secret.jpg|450px|thumb|center|Do you promise not to tell, and if you do, do you acknowledge damages may not be an adequate remedy?]]
}}{{d|confidentiality agreement|/ˌkɒnfɪdɛnʃɪˈæləti/ /əˈgriːmənt/|n|}}<be>
}}{{d|confidentiality agreement|/ˌkɒnfɪdɛnʃɪˈæləti/ /əˈgriːmənt/|n|}} (Also known, to those for whom the glass is half-empty, as a [[non-disclosure agreement]], or an [[NDA]]. Or a “[[confi]]”.) <br>


1. The ostenatious courtship display of a fecund [[legal eagle]]. Identified as a clear instance of Darwinian mating selection because the length and gravity of the terms of a non-disclosure agreement varies in exact inverse proportion to its subject matter. The more fatuous the information, the longer and more stentorian the confi tends to be. A [[legal department]] whose plumage boasts an enormous multicolored NDA is effectively broadcasting to the rest of the market, “look how fertile I am! I can insist on this transparently idiotic legal contract and people sign it! It is absurd in every conceivable dimension, yet, here I still am, my business in rude health!”  
1. (''Forensic evolution'') The ostentatious courtship display of a fecund [[legal eagle]]. Identified as a kind of Darwinian [[textual selection]] because the length and gravity of the terms of a [[non-disclosure agreement]] varies in exact inverse proportion to its subject matter. The more fatuous the “confidential information”, the more stentorian in term and baroque in expression the NDA tends to be. Thus, a [[legal department]] whose plumage boasts an enormous multicolored [[NDA]] is broadcasting to the rest of the market, “look how fertile I am! I can insist on this transparently idiotic legal contract and people still sign it! It is absurd along every conceivable dimension, yet, here I still am, my business in rude health!” <br>
2. (''Reg Tech'') Any class of legal contract sufficiently common, homogenous, predictable and unexciting that a machine-learning proof of concept will, in some superficial way, appear to work for a p period of time at least as long as the [[general counsel]]’s attention span. (So named because the confidentiality agreement is the only such contract in wide use). Hence: “Hi I would like to pitch you my new [[software as a service]] offering, which can intelligently automate your entire legal operations platform. It runs on [[chatbot]]s and [[Natural language processing|natural language processing]] [[[and/or]] a room full of captive economic migrants in Khazakstan]. I can give you a half hour demo. So that I can set the POC up can you send me a few sample...”
2. (''Reg Tech'') Any class of legal contract sufficiently common, homogenous, predictable and unexciting that a machine-learning proof of concept will, in some superficial way, appear to work for a p period of time at least as long as the [[general counsel]]’s attention span. (So named because the confidentiality agreement is the only such contract in wide use).  
 
Hence: “Hi I would like to pitch you my new [[software as a service]] offering, which can intelligently automate your entire legal operations platform. It runs on [[chatbot]]s and [[Natural language processing|natural language processing]] [[[and/or]] a room full of captive economic migrants in Khazakstan]. I can give you a half hour demo. So that I can set the POC up can you send me a few sample...”
“Let me guess. [[Confidentiality agreement]]s?”
“Let me guess. [[Confidentiality agreement]]s?”
“Oh right. I see. Hey look sorry, [[I have to hop]].”
“Oh right. I see. Hey look sorry, [[I have to hop]].”


Also known, to those for whom the glass is half-empty, as a [[non-disclosure agreement]], or an [[NDA]]. Or a “[[confi]]”. An agreement whereby you promise not to tell. Here are the main parts of a normal financial markets [[confidentiality agreement]].<ref>If you are a Hollywood Exec type who expects, turpitudinously, to hush up people you have triggered, you have come to the wrong place. This is about the ''good'' kind of [[NDA]]. The ''nice'' one. </ref>
Here are the main parts of a normal financial markets [[confidentiality agreement]].<ref>If you are a Hollywood Exec type who expects, turpitudinously, to hush up people you have triggered, you have come to the wrong place. This is about the ''good'' kind of [[NDA]]. The ''nice'' one. </ref>


{{confi basic structure}}
{{confi basic structure}}


==Index to the NDA==
==Index==
Here’s the index to the [[JC]]’s NDA anatomy. Click the ᐅ to collapse:{{#categorytree:confidentiality|mode=pages|namespaces=Main Category|depth=1}}
Here’s the index to the [[JC]]’s NDA anatomy. Click the ᐅ to collapse:{{#categorytree:confidentiality|mode=pages|namespaces=Main Category|depth=1}}
==What’s in a [[confi]]?==
==What’s in a [[confi]]?==

Revision as of 19:50, 10 March 2021

NDA Anatomy™
Do you promise not to tell, and if you do, do you acknowledge damages may not be an adequate remedy?


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confidentiality agreement
/ˌkɒnfɪdɛnʃɪˈæləti/ /əˈgriːmənt/ (n.)
(Also known, to those for whom the glass is half-empty, as a non-disclosure agreement, or an NDA. Or a “confi”.)

1. (Forensic evolution) The ostentatious courtship display of a fecund legal eagle. Identified as a kind of Darwinian textual selection because the length and gravity of the terms of a non-disclosure agreement varies in exact inverse proportion to its subject matter. The more fatuous the “confidential information”, the more stentorian in term and baroque in expression the NDA tends to be. Thus, a legal department whose plumage boasts an enormous multicolored NDA is broadcasting to the rest of the market, “look how fertile I am! I can insist on this transparently idiotic legal contract and people still sign it! It is absurd along every conceivable dimension, yet, here I still am, my business in rude health!”
2. (Reg Tech) Any class of legal contract sufficiently common, homogenous, predictable and unexciting that a machine-learning proof of concept will, in some superficial way, appear to work for a p period of time at least as long as the general counsel’s attention span. (So named because the confidentiality agreement is the only such contract in wide use).

Hence: “Hi I would like to pitch you my new software as a service offering, which can intelligently automate your entire legal operations platform. It runs on chatbots and natural language processing [[[and/or]] a room full of captive economic migrants in Khazakstan]. I can give you a half hour demo. So that I can set the POC up can you send me a few sample...” “Let me guess. Confidentiality agreements?” “Oh right. I see. Hey look sorry, I have to hop.”

Here are the main parts of a normal financial markets confidentiality agreement.[1]

What should be in an NDA

Let’s be blunt about this: there is a special place in hell for any advisor who serves up a confidentiality agreement more than 3 pages long. Even three pages is purgatorially tedious. GET TO THE POINT. It’s a goddamn NDA, not the sale of your soul.

For those of you who can’t see your way clear to embracing the OneNDA, and who have not yet been asked to get your coat, here are the basic things it needs to cover: Who is who: Who is disclosing, who is receiving, or is it mutual? Mutual is good — as it plays to the idea that this is fair, but sometimes you want to just get across the line quickly, by offering confidentiality, without requiring it. That way, for example, you can just sign without seeking assent.

  • The confidential information: What counts as confidential information, and what doesn’t?
  • The Purpose: Why are you disclosing the confidential information? What is the project?
  • The confidentiality obligation itself: How is the receiver expected to keep it secret? Who can the receiver share with? On what terms?
  • Mandatory disclosure beyond the “Purpose”: What about compulsory disclosure under legal process, statutes and regulations?
  • Term: How long does the confidentiality obligation last?
  • Other: Representations and warranties, governing law, And for God’s sake WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T FORGET THE COUNTERPARTS CLAUSE.

What shouldn’t be in an NDA

The following often make their way into a confi agreement, though none really have any business being there.

Index

Here’s the index to the JC’s NDA anatomy. Click the ᐅ to collapse:

What’s in a confi?

Confis can be “one way”, where one party discloses and the other receives, or “two way”, where both parties disclose sensitive information. A broker’s template will tend to be far more generous when it is receiving only, than when it is giving information up. I know this may come as a shock to some of you.

Length

Firstly, let’s be blunt about this: there is a special place in hell for any advisor who serves up a confidentiality agreement more than 3 pages long. Even three pages is purgatorially tedious. GET TO THE POINT. It’s a goddamn confi, not the sale of your soul. Oh hang on.

What a confi shouldn’t have

The following often make their way into a confi agreement, though none really have any business being there.

See also

References

  1. If you are a Hollywood Exec type who expects, turpitudinously, to hush up people you have triggered, you have come to the wrong place. This is about the good kind of NDA. The nice one.